I went to my old school for the Ugama Certificates Ceremony, where I didn't have the time of my life. i felt isolated from everything. Everyone seemed to have friends or close friends but me. Where were my old friends? Where were my bestfriends? Where were my Sejati Friends? I came in the surau when everyone was sitting facing the teachers, and all was quiet as i entered. wheeww, intimidating stares of surprises, awe and blankness. I tried to not look at anyone, cause, I knew the people who hated me were there. I knew they were watching me.. in anger? =(
Well, I got my Certificate, and I hung around alone in the surau while everyone was having the time of their lives taking pictures with friends and laughing laughing, having fun. Qamarina saw me alone and she said "Hey Nazz, knapa ko sorang2 sian, sama kami wah... oi kamu inda kamu ingat kawan lama sendiri kah? si Nazz wah ni, indakan kamu lupa?" and Majeedah and the others said " Cemana jua dapat lupa, si Nazz kaliah, eh nazz, siuk pte?" " Napa ko sorang2 saja ani?" Then Lyn Lyn came and talked to me. She kinda so how sad I was . By the time I went out the surau with her, I met some old friends, who greeted me, and then on the way out of the canteen area, I was like SO SO down.
Then Nissyah came. I immediately hugged her. GAH. I missed her a LOT. And I felt SO bad that I didn't layan her much in MSN anymore, nor speak to her much. =_= I am a Jerk. I was in a total embrace; hugging her as if it would clear all my guilt away. Then I cried. i know how lame it might sound but yea, she's my bestfriend and she's my bestbestfriend's little sister. Hugging her also felt like hugging Amal. And Amal, was one of my main concerns as she super hxtes me. GAHH. Then Zulaikha and Faezah came. They were like "Nazz?" and When they were near, I hugged them aswell, and cried harder. I was stuck in that spot. i didn't want to move nor leave that moment. I wanted to keep hugging them, and clear all my countless guilt away. I wanted them to know how much pain I felt because I hurt them and how MEGA sorry I was.
I said some intense stuff. one which was "i'm sorry for being a jerk" The others I shall not reveal for they are private. ;p
They forgave me. =') But I still kept apologising. Guilt was overconquering me. Nyeh. I went to sit with them and watched them eat. I didn't have appetite. BAHA. I watched Amal from far away. Boy..She was having a great time..
Took pictures with Faezah, Zulaikha, and Nish. Even took pics of the students and the canteen. HAHA. I miss that canteen. awww. =3
Then I tried to tagur Amal. Yet everytime I tried to approach her, she just kept moving. =_=
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