It's life, deal with it.

The scent of boredom is undeniably fresh and accumulating everywhere. EVERYWHERE. No matter where I go, what I do, it's as if nothing can reach it's full potential of joy. *yells* I am bored. Fullstop, no?

One particularly loathesome qualitiy of the holidays it's power to convert happy people into angry-depressed people. Alright maybe not depressed. I'm way distant from depressed thank you. Angry, yes, and stressed. For some people, yes, they may have less stress going on in their daily lives of the holidays, but for me, it's stressful in some ways, and enjoyable in very small, very limited ways.

As an eldest daughter and oldest "kid" in this household, I'm somewhat in charge of the "toddlers" that run around the place making a mess with this "playround" of theirs. Who are these toddler's, you may wonder?

- Fakhri, the 14 year old brother, who tends to hog the PS2 all friggin day, but is always there to assist me with my big sister's patrolling job.
- Anis, the 15 year old emo cousin who suffers daily depression, due to daily online quarrels with her emo boyfriend, not to mention get drugged by my PSP feeling so sober and "oh-so-emo-let-me-cut-my-wrist-and-slowly-die-of-depression".
- Ilah, the 13 year old little sister, who is entitled the "Princess" of this family, due to her girliness and perky, pixie, whatever attitude. She who hogs the PC along with her partner in crime: Emo Cousin Anis. And has become more rebellious over the time spent with the Emo Cousin.
- Ibah, the 12 year old little sister, who is entitled, by me, the "nini" of the family, having act so mature - no, MATURER than a girl for her age, and suffering occassional outbursts of grumpiness, as well as ignorance that is beyond the limit of a 4rth child aged 12.
- Ewan, the 5 year old youngest child, who believes he is the next Ultraman who shall save this world from monsters, and acts so annoyingly spoilt with his brand new toys and gizmos. He yells every morning as a result of Ibah's pesky annoyance, and has somewhat increased my temper levels over the past few days, making me feel, yes more responsible, but sadly, old and vulnerable to release anger outburst.

The 5 "toddlers" are 3 teenagers, and two children. They are family. They live with me, in the same house. They are huge pains when they are out of control, which, mind you, happens 90% of the time. I'm not saying anything bad about them, on the contrary, I'm actually informing you the details that make me smirk everytime I think of them. However, with parents who are out working during the day till the night, I am stuck with these 5 people like 5 chewing gums stuck beneath my bloody shoes!

The upstairs living/family room is made a mess every single hour! The Study room is always occupied by Ilah and Anis, from the morning till night fall till MIDNIGHT that I can hardly have the chance to surf the web properly. They create a huge mess which they don't even clean up unless I inspect the area and bark orders to tidy up their mess. That's what I've been doing since the dawn of the holidays. BARK. =_= Thrash around orders to make this house normal or, more likely, a HOME. I've been doing chores and reading, as well as watch my family do whatever they ar doing, and it's been fun yet, tiring. Telling them to do this and that. I'm viewing this as a test. 8D Hey, I'm the eldest child, I need the experience.

But being in charge is exhausting. It's the holidays, and it's as if I have no rest. NONE. NADA~! Why can't they try to more co-operative?! Nyeh. I have to throw orders at them like I'm the boss and all. =_= Bossy sister, aren't I? wait a second.. =_= I'm talking like these people are group members of a club in college. They're still kids. hkashfjksahfkals.

Next, is the fact that my allowance has been barred for 3 months cause dad keeps postponing the dates to give my allowance. Just last night I was informed that he'll give me the 3 months overdue allowance on December's pay day. Which is on the 26th!!

sdjkhfjkashgjkasfhgjklafhl

WTH WTH WTH

That is like, towards the end of the holidays, WHATS THE POINT WHEN HOLIDAYS ARE GONNA END? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT MONEY DURING THE DAYS BEFORE THE PAY DAY. GAHHHHHHHHH T______T

I am not happy. *goes emo and cuts wrists* lol. =_= seriously, this holiday is killing me.

The fact that people around you, or the people you know are judging you, or creating assumptions that are OUT OF THIS BLOODY WORLD, is pure misery. I hate it when people do that. I hate it when people think you're thinking or acting negatively in response to what they are doing. *imagines stabbing my hand* I hate this!

Okay, so I don't act so happy-dandy-smiley-faced-rainbows-are-encircling-me all the time. So I don't seem to show enthusiasm because we go grocery shopping and buy tonnes of food that is supposed to make me smile all the time, so I don't smile after accomplishing chores, so I don't sound happy after people talk to me, so I don't have the joy in my voice when people talk with me T_T that does not mean I'm unhappy or unsatisfied or angry. GUHHH. I'm sorry if I didnt wash those dishes okaaaaaaaaaaayyy. I'm sorry if I sounded rude talking with the adults. I'm sorry I go silent in the car and stuff the earphones in my ears and turn on the mp4 in full volume out of anger. JHDSGDHSWFSK.

And friends, please don't make negative assumptions if it seems like I'm treating everyone in a manner that is least expected. =_= cause, hello, 16 year old stuck in a house with black aura here! I'm not happy with the stress hopping about me. Don't take it wrong.

I'm feeling dizzy now. And Nisha's inviting Roxious for lunch tomorrow. Oh and Saturday there's gonna be an outing at the mall, with Jam, Farky and Abu. WOHOOOO. =D =D *coughs and returns to normal self* I need transportation. BOO. I can go~ but I need somebody to antar. *thinks of Unlce* LOL XD

Alright, I need rest.